I am Borg - Part 2 - Chapter 6
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Summary: Staff meeting. Saga of Annika and her foster mother
Note: Information about B'Elanna's father contacting her from
Pathways by Jeri Taylor
Seven and Janeway entered the briefing room together, Tuvok had
left the seat nearest the Captain's chair, in which he usually
sat, empty apparently for Seven. He had two padds in front of
him and when they had sat down he handed a padd to both of them.
Janeway raised an eyebrow at him, as the rest of the senior
officers especially Chakotay were quite curious as to what was
going on. Only B'Elanna had an idea of what was going on and she
had adamantly insisted that the Captain be the one to brief
"I have restricted access to these documents to your command
code Captain until you have time to review the information I
have found and come to a decision about it," Tuvok stated as he
handed the padds over.
Janeway replied, "Good thinking, Seven and I will look these
over after the briefing and come to a decision about them. Now,
to fill everyone in on the cause of the spatial and temporal
distortion that was detected early this morning at 0345 hours.
The location of the distortion was Seven's quarters, undoubtedly
Mulara was the cause of the distortion which sent Seven to mid
ninth century Norway for several hours."
She paused and then continued, "Seven believed she was dreaming
as she has experienced very vivid dreams ever since her... death
on Mularan." Janeway paused and looked curiously at B'Elanna who
had straightened up with a thoughtful look on her face. "You
have something to add Lt. Torres?"
"I believe I know why Seven was certain she was dreaming. Mulara
sent her there to hear a certain statement. Seven would not have
knowingly broken the Temporal Prime Directive, but in order to
hear what she did she had to break it. I believe that Mulara
influenced her to believe it was a dream so that she would tell
her story instead of either remaining silent or making something
up," said B'Elanna.
Seven nodded, "The thought had crossed my mind as well Lt.
Torres. I do not understand now why it did not occur to me to
consider the possibility that it was real given some of the
events. I do not remember even once thinking it was anything but
a dream at the time."
Janeway nodded, "I suspect you are right." She went on to give a
brief explanation of what had occurred during Seven's trip to
the past. If anyone thought it curious that the Captain was the
one telling the tale instead of Seven they did not mention it
during the brief. When Janeway revealed that Seven had told her
life story to the gathering at the feast hall eyes widened but
still no one dared to interrupt the Captain.
By this time Chakotay was looking back and forth between the two
wondering why exactly the Captain was protecting Seven from
questioning by giving the brief herself.
Finally Janeway related to them the statement that Seven had
apparently been taken to the past to hear. That she was one of
the drones designated as a possible Queen and it was not likely
that the Borg would quit trying to reclaim her.
"How high a priority would the Collective place on reclaiming
you Seven?" asked Chakotay.
Seven frowned slightly, "I cannot say, Commander. No designated
drone has ever escaped the Collective. I do not believe it would
be a high priority task though. It is likely that the Borg would
only attempt to reclaim me if I came into close proximity of a
Janeway broke in, "We can discuss the implications of this later
after Seven and I have reviewed the data Lt. Cmdr Tuvok located.
Now, lets move on to the departmental briefs."
Chakotay, Paris and Kim stared for a moment at the Captain then
looked back to their padds. Thirty minutes later after the
departmental briefings were done Janeway dismissed the meeting
after requesting Lt. Torres and the Doctor to keep the
information they knew about the incident to themselves until
With that Janeway dismissed everyone but Seven, who accompanied
her to the Captain's Ready Room. As they walked through the
bridge area Janeway was heard to ask, "Would you be interested
in breakfast Seven, I'm starving."
Seven smiled slightly, "Coffee perhaps and some Quara fruit
would be nice."
Janeway crowed, "Ah ha, another convert, I knew you would like
coffee," as they disappeared into the Ready Room leaving the
officers on the bridge staring after them with expressions of
Seven watched as Kathryn replicated two coffees and the some
fruit for the both of them. Before she could start reading her
data padd Seven asked a question that had been puzzling her,
"Captain why did you give the brief instead of me? I assumed
that I would be the one giving the brief since I of course am
more familiar with what occurred."
Kathryn said, "I wanted to make sure that certain questions were
not asked until I had a chance to go over things with you. I
know your briefs are very through and there are some things you
told me about that I didn't want certain officers there to hear
about. Your personal life does not need to be part of the ship's
Seven considered her words and realized that she had not
informed Kathryn of the extensive research she had conducted
into the topic of human sexual behavior and cultural
expectations about that behavior. "I have conducted research as
you suggested, including a through work by Uahae Aayhea, an
Andorian researcher on human-nonhuman relationships written to
assist the non-human with understanding human cultural beliefs
and mannerisms relating to human sexual behavior. I believe I
have a better understanding of what is considered private
knowledge and what is considered public knowledge now. I would
not have included any information about what Jorunn and I shared
at the briefing. I understand it is considered part of my
Kathryn looked at her oddly for a moment then with a snort
laughed quietly for a moment. Seven straightened wondering if
she was laughing at her but Kathryn quickly explained, "I'm not
laughing at you Annika, I'm laughing at myself. I used to hate
it when my mother was overprotective of me, and yet here I am
doing the exact same thing to you. I felt so helpless and angry
when you were on Mularan knowing that I had failed you, I guess
I've been overcompensating since you got back."
"You should not blame yourself Kathryn for what happened on
Mulara, you did not have time to rescue me," said Seven.
Kathryn responded pensively, "Intellectually I know that Annika,
I still feel as though I failed you."
Seven felt at a loss as to how to respond to Kathryn, finally
getting up and moving to sit next to her and then taking one of
the older woman's hands in her own. As Kathryn looked at her in
surprise and smiled, Seven said, "I do not feel that you have
failed me Kathryn.
"Thank you, Annika," said Kathryn.
The two were silent a moment then Kathryn gently pulled her hand
free and picked up her padd and began to read. "Oh my," she
"The title," commented Seven.
"Yes," responded Kathryn, "I guess I am your foster mother
"Do you mind?" asked Seven hesitantly.
"Everyone knowing that I think of you as my daughter? No, and
it's better than some of the other rumors floating around,"
"You are speaking of those that think we have an intimate
relationship," Seven said calmly.
Kathryn looked at her in surprise, "I didn't know you had heard
those, but yes. At least this will lay that fallacy to rest."
Seven finished reading the ‘Saga of Annika and her foster mother
Kathryn Edwardsdottir' far quicker than Kathryn. The Vikings had
obviously been much impressed with her description of Kathryn's
actions. Seven waited patiently for Kathryn watching her
intently to see what her reactions would be to some of the more
heroically phased passages.
Seven was surprised when Kathryn didn't comment on any of the
phrasing but looked up at her with sorrow in her eyes. "Oh
Annika why didn't you tell me your father was on the Queen's
ship," said Kathryn.
Seven flinched and looked away for a moment then said, "There
was no time, and there was no other sound tactical choice but to
destroy the Queen's ship."
"And afterwards? Why not tell me then Annika. We must have
seemed so insensitive. Is that why you were still working that
night?" asked Kathryn.
"I... I did not want to tell anyone," Seven said, "I am not
certain he was present on the Queens ship when it exploded."
Kathryn looked at her penetratingly, "But you are almost
certain, aren't you."
Seven glanced at her and nodded.
"What are you feeling Annika?" asked Kathryn. Seven stood up at
the question and looked out the window at the stars streaking by
with her arms crossed. Kathryn thought for a few moments that
she would not answer her but finally she started speaking.
"He... they should have left after they had a year's worth of
data. They knew what would happen if our vessel was detected,
yet they stayed. Because of them I was... am Borg, I remember
all those I assimilated... remember killing... men, women,
children... because they were deemed unfit for assimilation.
Seven had started pacing as the first few words and was now
making angry passes across the Ready Room floor, her voice
rising as she spoke. Then she stopped and turned and looked at
Kathryn. "All because of their curiosity," said Seven in a low
She paused and then started speaking again, "I do not know what
I feel about his death. I am relieved he is no longer a drone
that he is not assimilating others. I... I do not know what I
would say to him if you had saved him from the Borg. He was my
Papa... I... loved him... and yet... I was... I am still angry
Kathryn got up and walked toward her and put an arm about her
waist and hugged her, "I can see why you would feel that way.
I've never asked if you could remember the things you did while
you were a Borg, I guess I wanted to believe that you wouldn't
clearly remember them. But I never asked... maybe because I
didn't want to know that you did."
"There is a difference in the memories and the one's I have of
events since I became an individual. They are... " Seven paused
as she tried to find the words to explain, "I feel removed from
them... I know that I was the person doing the action but they
do not have the... clarity and focus of my memories of my time
The two stared out into space for a few moments silent then
Kathryn sighed, "What do you think of releasing the Saga? I'm a
bit embarrassed about how they portrayed me, but I'm more
concerned about you being comfortable with the crew reading it.
I don't know how many have ever considered events from your
perspective, and I don't know how you feel about them knowing
about your father's death."
Seven said, "I am uncertain, perhaps it would be useful to get
the opinion of others, perhaps Lt. Cmdr Tuvok and Lt. Torres."
Lt. Cmdr Tuvok had stated two main reasons to release the Saga,
the first was that the Saga was public information; the second
was that he thought it might be beneficial for the crew to know
what Seven's view of events had been.
B'Elanna had been honored that Seven had wanted her opinion on
whether or not to release what the Norse had written about her
tale. Janeway had called her to her Ready Room to read the Saga
while Seven took the opportunity to catch up with some work in
Astrometics. She had thought it would be interesting to read
something from Seven's perspective, and it had been. It had also
been disturbing; she had not really considered the fact that
Seven had essentially lost 12 years of her life while in the
With a sense of shame she remembered the day that she had
angrily asked Seven if she ever felt guilty about assimilating
others, she had thought that Seven's reply of "guilt is
irrelevant" indicated that Seven did not care about those she
had assimilated. After Seven was found innocent on Mularan she
had realized that Seven had been answering her question
precisely and honestly. Guilt was irrelevant when you had no
free will; it was rather like asking a weapon if it felt guilty
over being used to kill someone.
What she hadn't realized until now was that Seven did have
strong feelings over being used in such a manner, the Saga made
it clear that she felt anger and remorse and B'Elanna suspected
a strong sense of helplessness over her past. B'Elanna had never
really equated being assimilated with being enslaved, but the
Vikings had interpreted what she had said with a sorcery that
enslaved both body and mind. After considering it B'Elanna
thought that perhaps they had come closer to the truth than her
more technical understanding of the process.
B'Elanna had always thought the Borg had broken the alliance
just like Chakotay had predicted they would when Seven had tried
to assimilate the ship. What she found interesting from the Saga
was that from what Seven related, the Borg had not been breaking
the alliance at that point. There had been no alliance in the
Borg's viewpoint, Chakotay had already broken it and Janeway's
actions in helping the Borg while in fluidic space were, she
thought, deemed ‘irrelevant.'
B'Elanna had always held it against Seven that she hadn't been
more grateful when they had freed her from the collective. That
she hadn't made more of an effort to fit into the crew. She had
blamed her for trying to contact the Borg right after they had
freed her from the Collective. B'Elanna had never considered
that Seven had not seen herself as rescued at all, from what
B'Elanna had read kidnapped would be more accurately how Seven
had seen their actions. Kidnapped and forced to try to fit into
what she had obviously seen as a chaotic and confusing group of
people who made no effort to understand her except for Captain
Janeway... and Harry, B'Elanna added.
"Finally Annika came to cherish herself as an individual and to
understand why those around her thought so highly of it. Yet she
did not feel welcomed by the crewmates of her ship, though she
risked her life no less than they did in battle they would not
accept her, not seeing past her mannerisms and way of speaking
that were foreign to them.
The room was still as she spoke, her face calm as befitting a
warrior but in her voice and eyes everyone could see the pain
and loneliness of the beautiful shield maiden. The Earls
daughter Jorunn seeing her pain came and sat down beside her and
comforted her, as did Altea the Earls cousin. Her pain eased she
once again began speaking. ... "
B'Elanna knew something about that passage bothered her,
suddenly she realized what it was. Both she and the Captain had
been surprised when Seven had told them that she had not been
uncomfortable with Jorunn touching her. And the passage made it
clear that not only had Jorunn reached out but Altea had as
well, and had comforted Seven as she told the gathering about
how difficult things had been for her aboard Voyager. Which
meant that two women who barely knew Seven had reached out to
offer comfort even through Sevens aloof shell, and no one aboard
Voyager had ever tried to do the same that B'Elanna knew of.
‘Sometimes', B'Elanna thought to herself, ‘I wonder why Seven
helps us as much as she does, why is she willing to risk her
life for people who treat her so badly.' A bitter bile taste
arose in the back of her mouth as she contemplated this and she
closed her eyes for a moment then shook her head and went on
B'Elanna was surprised when she read that the Queen had brought
the drone of Seven's father out to try and persuade her to
rejoin the Borg. Seven had apparently called him Papa when she
recognized him and then upon seeing the lack of reaction or
emotion in his face had become even more resolved to keep
resisting the Queen's attempts to turn her loyalties back to the
Borg. ‘Something even I could have predicted,' thought B'Elanna,
‘Not a particularly smart move Borg Queen.'
Even through the dour mood she was in B'Elanna had to chuckle at
the description of Kathryn Edwardsdottir's daring rescue of
Annika and her courageous and brave lone confrontation of the
Queen. Much was made of Janeway's willingness to risk death
rather than let Annika be enslaved again, and also of Annika's
acceptance of death being preferable to being made a slave once
B'Elanna was almost smiling by the time she read of Voyagers
victory over the Queens ship, she remembered the relief when
they had successfully collapsed the transwarp conduit and then
the elation when the several Borg signatures from the collapsed
conduit had turned out to be the fragments of the Queens ship.
Suddenly the next sentence wiped the smile from her face as she
made a connection that she had missed... Seven's father, they
had killed him.
"Shield maiden you seem to never have any blessings that do not
come with a great sorrow. Spoke Earl Eric Haroldson... ."
B'Elanna sighed as she realized how true these words were, why
hadn't Seven told them that her father had been on the Queen's
ship? She had appeared more icily Borg than ever right afterward
and B'Elanna had just put it down to her being exposed to the
Borg and picking back up old habits. Now she realized that Seven
had been dealing in silence with her father's death while they
had been celebrating their victory over the Queen.
B'Elanna read the rest of the story as she tried to sort out the
thoughts and feelings that had arisen. The remainder of the
story she was familiar with, the events on Mularan, and the
revelation that Seven was one of the designated drones.
B'Elanna finished reading the Saga and pondered, she was once
again angry with herself for how she had treated Seven. Before
she felt ashamed because she had failed to realize that Seven
was not an adult and that she hadn't responded in a more mature
manner. Now she felt ashamed because they had taken a frightened
unwilling woman from the Borg and then failed to give her the
kindness and understanding she needed to feel accepted and
welcome among them.
B'Elanna sighed and then dropped her forehead into her cupped
hands as she rested her elbows on her thighs and tried to think
of what to say to Seven about whether releasing the Saga was a
good idea or not.
"B'Elanna are you in pain?" asked Seven as she walked into the
Ready Room and saw the Chief Engineer with her forehead cupped
in her hands. B'Elanna jerked upward and looked at her with an
expression Seven didn't quite recognize.
"Seven," B'Elanna said, "I... I wanted to tell you how sorry I
am for how I treated you. I should have apologized days ago when
you first came back on board but I was a coward and didn't want
to bring up the past when we seemed to be getting along so well.
I should have stopped the gossiping about you, it's my fault
that the engineering crew told the Mularans about you." B'Elanna
stood and turned staring out the window and wrapped her arms
around herself and whispered, "It's my fault they thought they
could take you and kill you."
Seven pondered B'Elanna's words and asked, "You told them to
share the information with the Mularans?"
B'Elanna turned around and with a spark of anger, "No! Of course
not. I meant that I didn't stop the gossiping and the way they
treated you. I... I just saw that they were standing up for me;
I didn't realize how much it hurt you. Or maybe I just didn't
want to see what I was doing... " B'Elanna turned back toward
the window at the last statement.
Seven watched the reflection of her face in the window for a
moment and asked, "Why did you want to hurt me B'Elanna?"
B'Elanna's form jerked and her eyes met Seven's in the
reflection. Suddenly Seven thought she recognized what emotion
was in them... pain, just before B'Elanna tore her eyes away.
"I... Damn it Seven don't you ever want to lash out at us?" said
B'Elanna as she turned suddenly and looked into Seven's
Seven considered the words and came to a realization, "How have
I hurt you B'Elanna?" Seven felt a heaviness in her chest and
said in a low voice, "I hurt you when I provoked you," Seven
answered her own question, "I apologize."
B'Elanna looked into Seven's face and could only see honest
regret there and sighed, she could not let Seven continue to
believe that it was all her fault. "Seven sometimes you did hurt
me when you were rude to me, but mostly I lashed out at you
because I was so jealous of you. Of how smart you were, how
beautiful, and because I felt you had taken my place with the
Captain. None of which is your fault, Seven, I have dishonored
myself by how I acted. I can only try and make it up to you."
Something flickered in Seven's eyes before she said, "You are
only willing to be around me because you feel guilty."
B'Elanna noticed how she made it a statement and rushed to
correct her, "No Seven, well maybe at first, but not now. Seven,
you've let me see more of who you are in the past two days than
I saw the past... what almost two years now? And I like the
person I'm getting to know, I just wish I had known who was
behind all that Borg shielding before." B'Elanna made sure that
Seven was listening to her before continuing, "I want to get to
know who Seven is... I would like to be her friend... if she
will let me."
Seven found the third person phrasing odd but understood that
B'Elanna was asking her if she would allow her to be her friend,
"I will let you." Seven hesitated and then continued, "B'Elanna,
I do not understand why you are jealous of me, you are as smart
as I am, and as beautiful. And the Captain does care about you."
"You think I'm smart?" asked B'Elanna, looking at Seven
Seven took a few strides through the room closer to her and
answered, "Yes, your ability to come to the correct conclusion
without going through a linear thought process is... remarkable.
I must work through problems logically to reach a conclusion,
you often do not. It is an ability I wish I could emulate."
B'Elanna smiled, "It's usually called intuition. You've always
impressed me by your ability to make logical sense of data that
at first look is bewildering. While I'm trying to make heads or
tails out of it, you've already analyzed it and come up with an
explanation and answer. You know, now that we are going to be
friends, maybe we could work on things together more often. I
bet we would make a great team."
Seven smiled, a full happy smile instead of one of the slight
ones she usually used, "I would like that."
B'Elanna could swear she felt her hearts pause for a moment then
start again at a quicker pace at the openly pleased expression
on Seven's face. She only realized that she was staring at Seven
in wonder when the smile disappeared and Seven looked at her
uncertainly. B'Elanna said, "Sorry for staring Seven, I've never
seen you smile like that before it surprised me, you look...
different when you smile."
Seven tilted her head to the side and said; "Jorunn said I
looked more beautiful when I smiled."
B'Elanna stilled for a moment, "She did? Well... I would have to
agree with her. It sounds like you two got along well during
your time there." B'Elanna knew she was fishing for information,
something was informing her that this Jorunn seemed entirely too
flattering and friendly for her liking.
Seven nodded, "I believe we were friends before I left, I know I
shall miss her." Seven stared pensively at the window before
noticing B'Elanna's slight frown. Seven stared curiously at her
wondering what was bothering her new friend.
B'Elanna stared at Seven trying to read the emotions playing
across the normally controlled face. The sad expression on
Seven's face when she said that she would miss Jorunn triggered
a reaction that B'Elanna was ashamed of when she recognized it.
Jealousy, she was jealous of this Jorunn woman who had comforted
Seven and had won her friendship within a few hours of meeting
her. B'Elanna noticed Seven looking at her curiously and weakly
offered, "Well, you do have one friend here, remember."
Seven's mouth twitched and she replied, "Yes, but I do not think
you will be offering to hold me while I sleep tonight B'Elanna.
Or giving me lessons on how to kiss." Seven's eyes twinkled
merrily as she watched B'Elanna's jaw drop, her pensiveness gone
for right now.
B'Elanna stared at Seven in shock, "She tried to seduce you!"
she stated, feeling a building anger. At what she wasn't
certain, at Jorunn for taking advantage of Seven's innocence, at
Jorunn for doing what B'Elanna wished she was free to, or at
Seven for accepting another woman's advances.
Seven frowned at B'Elanna catching the anger in her tone, "Yes,
she did. It was quite enjoyable. Why are you angry?"
B'Elanna sputtered, "Because she took advantage of you Seven,
she ... "
"Did not do anything to me that I objected to," interrupted
B'Elanna realized belatedly that she was standing there opening
and closing her mouth trying to find a way to respond to Seven's
statement without betraying herself and snapped her mouth shut
angrily. ‘It's not as if you have a right to say anything
B'Elanna' whispered her conscious ‘you're the one who decided to
ignore your attraction to her and stay with Tom, what right do
you have to object just because someone else didn't?' B'Elanna
ruefully acknowledged the truth of her thoughts; she didn't have
any right to get angry with Seven for accepting the advances of
another at all.
"I have had several members of Voyagers crew attempt to initiate
physical intimacy with me, B'Elanna, and I had no difficulty
refusing them. I made the decision to allow Jorunn to continue,
indeed it would be difficult for anyone to ‘take advantage of
me' as you stated, if I did not allow it," stated Seven.
B'Elanna held up her hands in a gesture of surrender, "Ok, ok...
I get the message. Your perfectly capable of taking care of
yourself." B'Elanna decided it was time for a tactical change of
subject, "So I guess you want my opinion about releasing this
Seven was confused by B'Elanna's reaction to her words; she had
intended to amuse the other woman but instead had apparently
upset her. Perhaps B'Elanna like Kathryn was in an
overprotective mode, Seven thought. "Yes," said Seven simply.
B'Elanna looked directly at Seven for a moment, "I think you
should. I think it would help a lot of people see who you
actually are, and I'm sorry about your father. Why didn't you
let us know?" B'Elanna was stunned by the emotions that ran
across Seven's face when she mentioned her father, anger,
sadness and then a look of weariness.
"I do not want to discuss my father," said Seven stiffly,
shifting and fighting to not slip into her old Borg stance.
B'Elanna noted how Seven started to stand with her hands behind
her back and caught herself, instead choosing to cross them over
her chest. She hadn't really considered what Seven thought of
her parents, even though she had heard through the grapevine
that Seven had made some harsh comments when she had read their
journals awhile back. B'Elanna hadn't really thought about it
then, but now after reading the Saga she stared at Seven and
considered how the other woman felt about her parents. Parents
that, as the Saga put it, took their young daughter along with
them on a spying mission.
B'Elanna smiled without any humor and said, "I've always been
mad at my father for leaving me when I was a child; I guess you
wish yours had left you."
Seven looked at B'Elanna somewhat perplexed by her statement.
"My father left my mother and I because he could no longer stand
living with two Klingons when I was a child. Your father took
you with him to study the Borg and got you assimilated," said
"You are asking whether I wish that my parents had left me
behind instead of taking me with them," said Seven. She was
quiet for awhile, her face both pensive and bitter before she
finally said, "I do not know, three weeks ago perhaps I would
have said yes. Now though I am unsure if I would trade my life
for a different one."
"My father sent me messages while I was at the Academy," said
B'Elanna. "I never responded, I didn't know what I would say to
him so I just didn't." B'Elanna was aware of Seven's sharp gaze
on her as she continued, "Some days I think that if I were to
meet him I would want to beat him, other days... I don't know
ask him why he couldn't love me I guess." B'Elanna felt tears
threatening but she continued, "Now of course I probably won't
ever have to worry what I would do if I meet him, because he's
likely to be dead by the time we get back. And sometimes I'm
relieved that I won't have to figure it out." B'Elanna looked
into Seven's eyes and saw understanding there.
Seven nodded not trusting her voice and breathed deeply a few
times before saying, "When what remained of the Queen's ship
exited from the transwarp conduit, I did not feel anything
though I was certain he was dead. Since then I have experienced
feelings of anger, sorrow, remorse... love. Sometimes I am also
relieved that I will never have to face my father and ask him
The two women looked at each other, both knowing that this was
something that they could safely share with each other that few
others on the ship would be able to understand. B'Elanna noticed
that Seven had lost her fight to hold in her tears and
impulsively she walked over and wrapped her arms around Seven
who after a startled second returned the embrace. B'Elanna felt
Seven rest her head against her shoulder and closed her eyes,
feeling her own tears slip down her face.