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I am Borg - Part 3 - Chapter 2


  I am Borg - Part 3 - Chapter 3

By Kudara

Disclaimer: Star Trek Voyager and all who sail in her belong to Paramount/Viacom and no infringement of copyright/trade marks is intended.

Warning: Contains f/f situations between women.

Rating: PG-13

Feedback: Always welcome, feedback is what encourages me to keep writing. Please let me know what you like and what you dislike about the story.

Revision History: 10/11/04; 10/28/04

Summary: Seven and Janeway discuss Seven's choice in Ch. 2. M'ara gives Seven and B'Elanna some interesting information. Seven, B'Elanna and Harry finish work on the Jem'Hadar weapon. Seven prepares for her second date.


Seven made her way toward Holodeck 2 where she would meet B'Elanna for their training session. Her thoughts drifted momentarily to the events of the afternoon, the meeting with the Captain had been... uncomfortable seemed like too mild a word for the experience. Janeway had made it obvious that she had disappointed and hurt by Seven purposefully leaving out such critical information. And that had only been the Captain to crewmember part of the discussion.

The mother to daughter discussion had happened right afterward, its start signaled by the Captain shifting to the use of her birth name. "What were you thinking Annika? I understand you wanted to save B'Elanna, but being reckless doesn't help anyone." Kathryn paused only for a moment then continued, "I don't want to think that I can no longer trust your judgment when it comes to situations involving her."

Seven had winced internally at the statement, "Captain... Kathryn." She corrected herself after receiving sharp glance in response to her use of rank. "I made an error; I underestimated the capabilities of the weapon." Seven grimaced, "Something I should not have done, given the sophistication of the attack it carried out against the trader who attempted to take it from us."

"I was mistaken when I did not tell you everything I knew. Though you might have forbid me from trying, you might have also foreseen the weapon's reaction and come up with a method of defense. I did not give you the..." Seven searched for the correct phrase, "benefit of a doubt when I assumed in which manner you would act."

"No you didn't," replied Kathryn in a softer tone, her anger apparently dampened for the moment. "Annika, I might not have approved your plan had I known, but I would have understood your need to do something to help B'Elanna." Kathryn looked thoughtful for a moment, "I think I overestimated your abilities, as well as forgetting about your feelings for B'Elanna, I should have talked to your group myself instead of letting Chakotay handle all of it."

Kathryn continued, "You have to learn how to balance your feeling for B'Elanna with your professional duties. Normally I would not assign someone to a rescue mission when they have an emotional involvement with one of the one's being rescued. But your unique abilities mean that you get assigned to away missions more often than others,"

Kathryn paused right after she said that and looked out the viewport at the stars pensively. After a few moments she turned and looked sadly at Seven. "How can I expect you to separate your feelings in such a manner when I couldn't manage when it came to Justin and my father..." she trailed off.

Impulsively Seven walked over to Kathryn and gripped her lightly about the arm, "I understand that I should not have let my feeling for B'Elanna override my logical assessment of the situation. I will attempt to not let them do so in the future."

"I know you will I'm just saying that first love is... well it can be overwhelming. It's very easy to let your feelings overrun your judgment," Kathryn patted Seven's hand where it was resting on her arm as she said this.

Seven nodded thinking of how she had forgotten about when her duty shift began this morning when B'Elanna had kissed her, and completely unaware of the smile that had crept across her face as she did so.

Kathryn raised an eyebrow and chuckled softly, causing Seven to look at her curiously. Kathryn shook her head briefly, "I do wish we had the luxury of letting you discover love like most of us did, the impulsive asking of a day off, paying less attention than you should to your duties because you're thinking of being with that special someone. It's an experience you would have probably already had if you hadn't been assimilated."

Seven looked at Kathryn surprised, the conversation had taken several unexpected turns and Seven was uncertain what if any response she should give to Kathryn's last statement.

One side of Kathryn's mouth turned up in a half smile, "What I mean is that I wish we were in a situation where I could let you have the experiences most of your peer's have had. Instead here I am lecturing you on how we... I... can't afford for you to be distracted because of your feeling for B'Elanna."

"Seven?" the subject of Seven and Kathryn's conversation broke into the ex-Borg's thoughts.

Startled Seven blinked and brought herself back to the present, smiling at the woman who stood beside her, "I am sorry I was thinking of my conversation with the Captain earlier."

B'Elanna winced, "How did that go, was she very hard on you?"

Seven considered the question with a tilted head, "It was an interesting conversation." This statement drew a questioning raised eye from B'Elanna. "She was disappointed with my actions." Seven paused for a moment, "She also said that she wished she had the luxury of allowing me to experience love like the other member's of the crew have. Apparently it is expected that the emotion will affect judgment and cause one to act in a less than efficient manner?"

B'Elanna smiled, "You could say that. If it's any consolation you're not alone, I've never fallen in love yet either."

"Is that what we are doing?" asked Seven curiously.

B'Elanna put her hands on her hips and gave Seven a slightly narrow eyed look, "I thought it was."

Seven eyed her uncertainly, not quite sure why B'Elanna was displeased, "I do not precisely know what is occurring between us B'Elanna. It is different from what I felt for Jorunn, it is..." Seven broke off as Lt. Paris and Ensign Kim exited the Holodeck.

"Well hello ladies, you two playing your infiltrator program?" asked Tom.

Seven replied, "No Lt. Paris tonight is unarmed combat practice."

"I really should give that program a try, is the instructor the Mularan's programmed any good?" asked Ensign Kim.

B'Elanna coughed causing everyone to glance at her and Seven fought to keep from smiling at the innocent question. "I have found the instructor to be quite satisfactory," Seven commented.

Harry looked surprised, "That's quite a complement coming from you, now I'll definitely have to try it out." He looked inquiringly at Tom.

"Ah... Sure, Harry I used to actually like unarmed combat back at the Academy. I should probably get back in practice," Tom said.

"I think you two will enjoy it," said B'Elanna, "And we should be getting started if you two would excuse us." B'Elanna followed up her comment with bringing up the training program at the Holodeck controls.

"Ah, sure, don't let us keep you," said Tom with a raised eye.

"Coming along Seven?" B'Elanna asked as she stepped through the Holodeck doors.

"Lt. Paris, Ensign Kim," Seven nodded to the two men politely and followed B'Elanna into the Holodeck staring curiously at the half-Klingon.

B'Elanna waited till the doors were closed then whirled to face Seven, "How is it different from what you felt for Jorunn," she asked.

Seven blinked, "You were rude to Lt. Paris and Ensign Kim because you wished to know the remainder of my statement."

It was not a question but a statement and B'Elanna replied, "Yes, now finish it... please."

Seven looked at B'Elanna keenly, then reached out and cupped B'Elanna's face with her hands and drew B'Elanna closer. "My feelings for you, my desire for you, is much more intense." With that Seven kissed her trying to show B'Elanna the emotions she was feeling since she could not find the words to describe them.

The kiss was soft and tender for several moments, then Seven heard B'Elanna growl and she was slowly pushed backward until her back rested against a convenient tree, slowly but certainly the shorter woman took control of the kiss and it became more passionate. When B'Elanna took Seven's wrists in her hands and pushed them around the tree behind her, Seven could have protested but she did not want to, for B'Elanna's body was pressing her firmly against the tree and the continual low growl now coming from B'Elanna aroused her.

Seven let her head fall back to rest against the bark of the tree when B'Elanna's lips left her own and trailed kisses and gentle nips along her jaw line and then explored her neck, unaware of the low moans coming from her own lips. The loose neckline of Seven's Mularan shirt allowed B'Elanna access to explore the line of Seven's collarbone but no further. Aggravated by this B'Elanna let go of Seven's wrists where she had been holding them and reached to tear off the waist wrap. That accomplished she slipped her hands under Seven's shirt and slid them up Seven's back as she returned her lips to Seven's.

"Well I understand what has been keeping you two now, you've been thinking of trying out a different type of unarmed exercise," the amused voice of M'ara intruded abruptly.

B'Elanna let out a frustrated growl as she removed her hands from under Seven's shirt and stepped away from her and turned around to face the Klingon hologram.

Seven, brought rather abruptly out of the sensual haze she had fallen into, moved away from the tree she had been pressed against by B'Elanna. Steadying her breathing, Seven looked inquiringly at M'ara, wondering why the Mularan goddess had sought them out. She understood Kathryn's concerns to be of a parental nature, but was unaware of what objections M'ara might have.

M'ara smirked at the angry look B'Elanna was directing towards her, "Let us walk through the gardens for a few moments," she said and proceeded to do as she suggested, turning after a few steps to look at them commandingly. Intrigued Seven nodded and looked at B'Elanna entreatingly; finally the half-Klingon sighed and nodded.

The three of them walked along the path toward the gardens, M'ara was silent until they reached the first bedded area of red and yellow flowering plants, then she stopped to look at them. "Seven you know that I shall ask you to accomplish a task for me, what you do not know though is that I have told B'Elanna that you task will be easier if you have a partner that will support and help you. Now I am telling both of you, the task I will require of Seven will be made much easier if there are two, not one, attempting it."

B'Elanna, having heard this before merely nodded in acknowledgement of M'ara's words. Seven who had not known of M'ara's conversation with B'Elanna was, of course, much more surprised by this information.

"I have also mentioned to B'Elanna, and now I will to you as well Seven, that you two should be certain of your feelings for one another before you enter into a more... intimate relationship. If you two begin a relationship and then one of you decides you were mistaken then Seven will most certainly fail her task." M'ara looked at them with a solemn expression on her face as she said the last.

The two women looked at one another with grave expressions for a moment, then Seven said, "B'Elanna you never shared this information with me."

"I... "B'Elanna looked confused for a moment as she halted what she had been planning to say, then she began looking embarrassed, "I forgot to."

Seven looked at her surprised but M'ara broke in again, "This would need to happen anyway, but in order to insure a certain level of commitment from you both I will link B'Elanna's development of her implant and exoskeleton to the onset of intimate relations between the two of you."

Two sets of eyes focused on M'ara unwaveringly as they both absorbed this unexpected information. "B'Elanna will become as I am?" asked Seven.

"Not exactly as you are, but yes the same implants and supportive structures. Her exoskeleton will develop differently from yours though. It will be uniquely hers, as yours is uniquely yours," responded M'ara.

"I'll get the photographic memory and the Borg engineering knowledge as well?" B'Elanna finally responded to the information with intrigue rather than dismay.

M'ara chuckled, "It was supposed to cause you to hesitate, not be an incentive," the Klingon woman said grumbling, but with a smile. "Yes, you will receive all the knowledge Seven has gained from the Borg, without paying the high price she had to pay for the receiving of it. And due to the cortical node you will gain the photographic memory."

B'Elanna sobered at the comment, "Seven..." B'Elanna hesitated searching for the words to ask the ex-Borg whether or not she would resent her gaining the engineering knowledge.

Seven stepped toward B'Elanna and raised her hand and gently touched the side of B'Elanna's face. "I would not want you to become Borg for that knowledge, but I am troubled by the thought of you becoming like I am, how will the rest of the crew treat you?"

B'Elanna looked troubled, "Hasn't everyone been treating you better since you returned Seven?"

"Yes, but it is clear that it is only because they fear you and the Captain. I do not want to be the cause of you being treated as I am treated," Seven said with a dismayed expression.

"Well since I was the main cause of your problems," B'Elanna glanced at M'ara as she said this with a shamed expression, "I doubt I will have the same issue, and maybe once they know we are together they will believe me when I say that I was wrong to treat you the way I did."

"There is one other consideration," M'ara spoke up, "When there are two of you, you will be able to share one other characteristic of the Borg. You can know each other's thoughts and feelings." She held up a reassuring hand to the both of them upon seeing their suddenly apprehensive expressions, "you will not loose your individuality, the implants you will both have will not make either of you a slave to the other, only allow you to know each others thoughts."

Seven and B'Elanna stared for a moment at M'ara then glanced at each other out of the corner of their eyes uncertainly. Neither of them seemed willing to discuss what M'ara had just told them.

M'ara smirked at them both, "You seem suddenly quiet, perhaps now we can head to the training area and get some unarmed combat training accomplished."

Seven wasn't certain how she felt about the possibility of B'Elanna being able to know her thoughts and feelings. Even though she had been part of the Collective and had shared their thoughts, it hadn't been as an individual. Her thoughts had been ordered and task driven, not at all like the chaotic collection that she experienced as an individual. She wanted to get closer to B'Elanna but she wasn't certain she wanted to give up the privacy of her own mind, not when she had just gotten used to having it.

Glancing at B'Elanna as they quietly walked to the pavilion, Seven realized that she wasn't quite entirely certain that B'Elanna's opinion of her had changed or if B'Elanna was only being nice out of guilt. Seven didn't really want to find out that the later was correct.

B'Elanna was uncomfortable with the silence that had grown between them since M'ara's second revelation to them. She knew she wasn't comfortable with the idea of anyone else knowing her thoughts and feelings, not even Seven. But she was hurt at the same time by the evidence that Seven, who at least had more experience with such a situation, didn't seem to want B'Elanna to know her thoughts either.

B'Elanna knew this wasn't fair of her, to want to know Seven's thoughts without sharing her own, but it was just an example of one of the reason's she didn't want her thoughts known to Seven. She didn't want Seven to know how self absorbed she often was, the extent with which she considered Seven's feelings recently was unusual for her and a sign of how much her feelings had grown for the other woman.

Both women were relieved when they reached the pavilion and M'ara set them to practicing separately against multiple opponents. It allowed them to quit focusing on each other's silence and focus on something else entirely. When it came time for their time on the Holodeck to expire they both became tense and nervous again, as they stepped out of the Holodeck

B'Elanna sighed in frustration, "Seven lets go to my quarters and talk about this over a bloodwine. I can't stand this... silence between us."

It was evidence of Seven's mental state that she replied, "I will comply," to B'Elanna instead of a less Borg like statement.

When they reached B'Elanna's quarters B'Elanna indicated that Seven should enter first and then went over to the replicator to get two glasses of bloodwine. She silently handed Seven's glass to her and then sat down beside her on the couch silently.

After a few silent moments they began in unison, "Seven," "B'Elanna."

They smiled briefly at each other as they both halted and glanced at each other. "B'Elanna," began Seven again, speaking first, "I should be more comfortable with the thought of you being linked to me." She stared pensively at the carpeted floor for a moment before continuing. "I became accustomed to the silence in my mind only a year ago. I now find myself uneasy at the thought of loosing that privacy."

B'Elanna glanced at Seven in surprise, and then reflected that Seven's reasoning shouldn't really have been a surprise to her. Just because she had been part of the Collective and had once wanted to return to it didn't mean that she wanted to return to a similar situation now. B'Elanna took another sip of her wine appreciating its thick rich flavor. "I'm... well I guess I'm afraid you won't like me much if you get to know me too well," admitted B'Elanna hesitantly.

Seven looked at B'Elanna in surprise for a moment then realized suddenly that their opinions of one another would affect the link between them very differently that if they were both drones in the Collective. In the Collective their feelings and opinions would have been stripped from them, leaving the thoughts to be shared between them dry and emotionless. This link would be nothing like the one she was familiar with, it would be filled with all types of information the Collective would have deemed ‘irrelevant'.

Wiping suddenly sweaty palms on her workout pant's Seven admitted, "I had not considered that factor, the link would be very different from the one I knew as a drone."

B'Elanna noticed the surreptitious movement but it took her a moment to connect the nervous gesture with the normally controlled Seven. ‘She's as nervous about this as I am,' realized B'Elanna with surprise.

There was something about the situation they now found themselves in that bothered B'Elanna but she could not pin down what was the discrepancy. Instead staring at her now empty glass she reluctantly suggested, "Let's both sleep on it Annika, maybe it will be less confusing in the morning."

Seven looked momentarily surprised by the use of her name, then she smiled a small but warm smile at B'Elanna and nodded. "Perhaps it will," she allowed and rose from the couch. Before she moved close enough to the door for the sensors to automatically open it for her Seven turned and raising her hand lightly gripped B'Elanna's chin raising the woman's face towards hers. Seven paused and looked questioningly at B'Elanna unwilling to initiate the kiss unless it was agreeable with the half-Klingon.

B'Elanna moistened the surface of her lips with her tongue staring into Seven's eyes and was caught by their darkening blue tone as Seven focused on her action. She swayed toward Seven who correctly interpreted the motion as consent and lowered her lips to B'Elanna's. The two of them kissed slowly, gently and lingeringly, promising to one another through it that they hadn't given up on the idea of physical intimacy.

By the time they broke apart Seven half wished that B'Elanna's Klingon blood would take over and she would continue touching her, Seven suspected she would not even half-heartedly struggle. Unfortunately though B'Elanna was able to push herself back from Seven and said in a ragged voice, "You should probably go to your own quarters now Seven. I can't... I can't stand to have you so close yet not be able to touch you like I want to."

Seven nodded, releasing a breath she hadn't been aware she had been holding, and turned and quickly exited the quarters. She almost bowled over Lt. Paris who had just come up to the door on her way out, surprised she stepped aside quickly barely avoiding a collision. "Lt. Paris, please excuse me," Seven said properly, unaware that her appearance betrayed what had just occurred between her and B'Elanna.

Tom stared at Seven trying to figure out what appeared different about her, her face was flushed for one thing and her lips looked like she had colored them or perhaps they were simply darker than normal. Tom shook his head slightly unwilling to accept what experience was telling him, that he was looking at a woman who had just been thoroughly kissed. "No harm done Seven, having an after workout bloodwine?"

"Yes Lt.," Seven was uneasy under Tom's searching look and she started wondering if the signs of her arousal were as evident to him as they would be to her. After a few seconds of silence Seven stiffened and said coolly, "Good night Lt. Paris."

Tom who was still trying to puzzle out Seven's appearance gave her a fake smile, "Of course Seven."

Seven turned smartly and proceeded down the corridor toward her quarters, leaving an increasingly suspicious Lt. Paris behind. Tom watched as Seven disappeared around the curve of the hallway then requested entry into B'Elanna's quarters.

In a few moments the door opened, "Sev...," B'Elanna's voice initially had a husky timbre to it but trailed off upon seeing Tom, unfortunately not before he had caught the tone and the clear signs of passion on his ex-lover's face.

A sound midway between an astonished laugh and a protest burst from Tom, "I can't believe this, you broke up with me over Seven?!" B'Elanna stiffened and drew herself up straight under Tom's disbelieving look. "Well I guess you've been doing a bit more than just practicing with your Bat'leth in the Holodeck."

"Tom we agreed that it wasn't working out between us, and for your information Seven and I only recently started dating," she paused for emphasis, "after we broke up." B'Elanna's first impulse had been to tell Tom it was none of his business, but concern for Seven made her want to make it clear to Tom that their break up was not Seven's fault. "So what did you want Tom?" B'Elanna finally asked after several moments of silence between them.

Tom stared at her for a moment longer then with a bitter look shrugged, "Nothing, I just dropped by to say hello I guess." With that he turned and proceeded down the hallway toward the turbolift.

B'Elanna stared after him for a moment then stepped back into her quarters and let the doors close upon the corridor. She devoutly hoped he wouldn't do anything stupid that would require her to hurt him; she didn't really want to spend any time in the brig or locked in her quarters.

Seven entered her quarters and glanced at the painting of the Omega molecule trying to calm the rapid beating of her heart, she knew that she could command her nanoprobes to act but she preferred to try and moderate her breathing herself. Seven knew that the end of the relationship between B'Elanna and Lt. Paris was supposed to be a mutual one, but now she wondered. Given the fact that he was, as far as she knew, seeing Ensign Brooks romantically Lt. Paris had seemed rather antagonistic toward her.

The next morning Seven worked a few hours in Astrometrics then met B'Elanna and Ensign Kim in Engineering to finish working on the Jem'Hadar rifle. The three of them broke around 1300 hours for lunch, when they returned to Engineering they worked with renewed interest and finally around 1500 they looked with satisfaction at the completed weapon.

"Go to Security and test it in their weapons range?" asked Harry of the two women.

B'Elanna nodded, "Yea, sorry Harry I was already thinking of how to modify it to make it more reliable."

Harry grinned cheerfully at B'Elanna, "Planning on making a few of these for us? They would need to be modified so they had lower range settings, but the extra power... well I can thing of a few times when I would have liked to have one of these."

"It would be advantageous if we could design a weapon that utilized an improved version of this power cell to produce a phased or tachyon beam depending on the setting," Seven said musingly.

"The weight," started B'Elanna.

"Would be an issue," finished Seven. "I have not thought of a method to reduce the weight of such a weapon sufficiently enough to make it practical for use as a hand weapon." Seven hesitated, and then with a glance at B'Elanna continued, "I was hoping that perhaps either of you might determine a method where I could not."

B'Elanna was shocked to hear Seven openly soliciting their ideas, then she growled silently in annoyance at herself for her surprise. Seven had changed considerably and she had recently considered whether or not that change was due to Seven's death or the changed relationship between them. If she had been treated like she had treated Seven, she wouldn't have been eager to admit failure or ask for help in front of such a person either.

"Between the three of us maybe we can come up with a solution. People working in teams usually progress faster than people working alone," B'Elanna grinned, "an example of the power of collective thought."

Seven's mouth twitched in amusement at B'Elanna's sally. Then an utterly serious expression crossed her face, "I have been considering the differences between this collective and the Borg. Though the Borg are quicker to find a suitable adaptation for an existing system, this collective is capable of generating new ideas and methods, something which the Borg are unable to do."

"The Borg have to assimilate something before they fully understand it, we don't. And because we are individuals we have imagination which allows us to conceive of entirely new ways of dealing with a given situation," said B'Elanna in a carefully neutral tone. She was fully aware of the fact that this was a new way of thinking for Seven, usually Seven assumed that the Borg were superior to those aboard Voyager, being unable or unwilling to see that the Borg had some severe limitations placed upon them due to the nature of the hive mind.

"I wonder what the Borg could achieve if they were more like the Bynars," mused Harry.

"The Bynar are an organic-cybernetic species originating in the Alpha Quadrant on the planet Bynaus. They are all linked to each other though a central computer system on their home planet but retain their ability to think individually," Seven said, obviously reciting from memory.

"Exactly," said Harry.

"Exactly what Ensign?" asked Seven with a raised brow.

"The Bynar's prove that it can be done, that you can link large groups of people into a communications network without causing them to loose their individuality," said Harry.

Looking thoughtful Seven nodded.

After they had test fired the weapon thoroughly and Harry left Engineering to return to his station on the bridge B'Elanna turned to Seven after glancing around to make sure no one was in hearing range. "I've managed to get the Holodeck tonight for two hours, would you like to have dinner with me."

Seven who was currently standing by one of the wall consoles glanced over at her and smiled warmly, "I would be pleased to have dinner with you B'Elanna."

"Holodeck 1 1900 hours, wear casual clothing," said B'Elanna.

Seven glanced at her curiously wondering where B'Elanna planned on taking her, and why type of food they would be eating. "Temperate climate?" she asked, after their first date she had promised herself that she would choose clothing different from those she usually wore.

B'Elanna tilted her head slightly and smiled at Seven wondering why she had asked the question, "Warm climate."

Seven nodded sorting through the clothing choices she remembered from the replicator patterns and tentatively choose a tight fitting sleeveless blouse and dress pants. Alpha shift was over and Seven finished up the work she was doing and turned fully toward B'Elanna. "I meet you at your quarters at 1850 hours."

"I look forward to seeing you then," B'Elanna said, now intensely curious about what Seven was thinking.

Once in her quarters Seven showered and went to stand in front of the replicator looking through the clothing patterns. She found the blouse and pants she had considered and replicated them. The blouse had a silk like feel to it and she had chosen a white for the color, having noticed from her perusal of several pictures that an all white outfit was frequently chosen for warm climates as the color did not absorb the heat of the sun. The pants were white as well but in a linen material and she choose simple flat white shoes for her feet.

Considering herself in the mirror she chose to let her hair hang loose about her face, she had noticed that B'Elanna seemed to like it that way. It was now 1840 hours, time for her to meet B'Elanna for their second date.



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